RUNNING FOR CHANGE!

Running and personal change and growth have much more common than you think. That is what I can tell from experience. Not just the physical change it brings but also how it is a catalyst for changing your mind, heart, and soul, which are even more important in the end.

My 2024 has been the biggest change in my life after the realization that I needed to change, and I started adopting a 'change lifestyle' for my body, mind, heart and soul. I know many people like me face the same challenges. That is why I started 'I Want To Change' as the go to place if you want to about personal change and personal growth, based my learnings and experiences and those of others, through my blog and my newsletter. I will also offer free coaching to help the ones to start with their change or need support during their change process to adopt a'change lifestlye'.

"Change is not a sprint; it is a marathon"

If you had told me a little more than 12 months ago that I would run a half-marathon distance within 6 months, I would say you were nuts. I was 47, weighed close to 100kg (~220lbs) and 1.72m (almost 5'8") tall. I was heavily overweight. I never really exercised, had no stamina, and had no appetite for doing any of it. Yet I ran my first half-marathon distance on July 06, 2024. Five and half months after doing my first training run on January 21st, 2024.

It began today, January 12th, exactly one year ago. I hit the gym for the first time. I was determined to change. So when I asked my personal trainer to challenge me, he told me I needed to run the local 5km or 10km race that would be held at the beginning of June 2024. I did not see that one coming. Thinking about taking the 5km run to play it safe, I thought, "F*ck it!" and told him I would do the 10km one. I decided to challenge myself and stop keeping it easy for myself. So I started running twice a week myself next to the gym I was doing. It was the start of a change that I never imagined would happen to me.

Today, exactly one year after my personal trainer challenged me on my first day at the gym, I ran one of the heaviest half-marathons in The Netherlands in 2 hours. As of today, I run 4 times a week, hit the gym 2 times a week, and lost almost 25kg (~55lbs). I changed from a heavily overweight person with related health issues, eating unhealthy and not having any stamina, to a perfectly healthy, muscled-up individual with well-above-average stamina. I'm now training to do the full marathon in October this year and have my plans ready for 2026 to go beyond that. Every morning I get up at 5am and I get at it every single day.

"Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end." – Robin Sharma

It is not the physical change that counts

You probably think: wow, that's impressive! Well... to be honest, I don't think it is. These physical changes were needed and a helpful instrument to help changing all the other aspects of my life, which were even more important to change. Today is not so much to celebrate all the physical changes I made within a year, but because of the changes I made in my mind, heart, and soul that happened in tandem with my physical change. Through personal growth across all these aspects, I was able to change and become a much better person for myself and so many people around me, while achieving many goals along the way.

While many people have seen my physical change happening over time (you can't really hide that 😉), many have not (yet) seen or experienced all the other changes that weren't physical. And let's face it: it is more impressive, safer and way easier to tell someone you lost 25kg or ran the half-marathon than to tell someone you went to extensive therapy to fix your childhood and other traumas, that you learned how to push yourself and how to set boundaries, that you learned how to withstand addictions, that you learned how to better communicate with others, that you repaired relationships, that you got back to faith, that you learned how to be vulnerable, that you learned how to feel, and how you learned to cry, and all other aspects that I was able to change the last year. To finally fix everything I have been pushing and running away from (or simply wasn't aware of at the time) for all those years. That I finally can look into the mirror and know my worth.

Everybody applauds when somebody physically changes, and I bet you thought the same when you read about my physical changes. Although the physical was absolutely needed as well and worked as a catalyst for many other changes, those weren't the most important changes. People often don't see the other changes people go through when people change. And I get it: how many people share about all the non-physical changes they've gone through? Especially publicly? Not many. Why? Out of shame, insecurity, fear of being rejected or judged, or being looked at from where they came from, or other reasons. It doesn't mean they aren't important. Showing your vulnerable self by admitting that your biggest and most important changes aren't physical is not sexy to tell others. Right? Wrong. After a year of turning myself upside down in every aspect of my life, I dare to differ. I've learned the hard way that changing yourself on the inside is way more difficult than changing yourself on the outside. That changing your mind, heart, and soul requires more of yourself and shows more strength than changing your physical. It is a pity that so many hide that part from others. Many people struggle with the same challenges and often have no clue that people around them - even close friends or family - have gone through that already and could be of tremendous support. It starts with people around you knowing about the changes you have gone through, so they can relate to them, and open up about their own challenges, for you to be an inspiration to them. It rarely works the other way around I found out as people don't like to tell about what they struggle with, especially if this relates to something on the inside.

The moment of change

Let's go back to my first moment of change. Like with many big changes in life where you do 180-degree turns, an event in my life triggered the internal need for real change. This was not the superficial change we all know. Where we say we want to change, but we keep a small 'but' or 'but only' in place, and we condition the change to happen. Not the one where you say you want to change but you aren't 100% willing to do 100% of the work and not willing to pour in all your energy, continue whatever the cost, go through all the hurt, and sacrifice everything to accomplish change. I bet you know what I'm talking about. We all have been there. No, this change I made was radical. It was a radical decision to face it all. One where you know you have to change the core of your being, and there is no other way than going through it all and giving it all you've got. That there is just only one option left. That kind of change. This life-changing event triggered this, pushing me to believe I had no other option then to change.

The sudden ending and loss of my relationship in December 2023 was my reason, and it hit every nerve in my system. It hit me hard. It made me question everything about myself and turned my life upside down. And, although I don't like to admit it, I needed this life-changing event to finally change. I concluded that I needed a reset in my life, to change my being, and to face the demons in my life that I had always tried to push and run away from and was easier than to confront them. I went offline for two weeks, got quiet within myself, analyzed my inner self at the deepest of my being, and wrote down everything I did not like about myself and things that needed change in all aspects of my life. Not just the things people saw from me that related to my physical and how people saw or perceived me, but also those that people did not see. It was a long list and way longer than expected when I started digging deep and finding things I never really thought about earlier, often related to my childhood past. Only by being brutally honest with myself and taking the time and space, I was able to get deep and I figured out what was wrong and what I had to change. That was the beginning of a year-long journey full of lessons.

”The only constant in life is change" - Heraclitus (Greek Philosopher)

Change is both a verb and a noun

I've changed a lot in just a single year. Not just physically but also in relation to the mind, the heart, and the soul. It is too much to just tell within this blog article alone, so I will dive deeper into specific changes over time in the next blog posts and the continued changes that I will keep having along the way and my learnings out of those. Yes, you hear that right: more changes are coming. This was just the first year. Change does not stop when you achieved a milestone, you target the next one instead. Change does not stop if you want to get the most out of life.

What I found out is that people have different ideas about change. Some people relate this to something that happened. Where an event has changed a person. Yes, this can happen, both positively and negatively. You can win the lottery, bump into the love of your life, get into an accident, or the death of your spouse. The same as that some people relate change to a decision. An internal or vocally expressed decision is one where you deliberately decide to change and you don't want to stay in the same situation. With both event-based and decision-based changes that are material, you often know exactly when those happened. But with both of them it is not a real change, it is starting point of a process of change. When you win the lottery, you must learn how to handle such an amount of money, decide what you want to do with it, learn to handle pressure from people who want your money, and so on. When you bump into the love of your life, it is the start of exploring each other, learning about the other person, and learning how to handle the relationship. When you get into an accident, it means learning to cope and solve the trauma and perhaps learn to live with a disability. When your spouse dies it means you need to learn to live your days without your spouse, to learn to refocus your life and so on. When you decide you want to change something, it is the determination to get to a different state, but you are not there yet. In both occasions these are just starting points of change in your life, but not an actual change yet.

Change, in the end, is a process. An event or decision we identify as change is nothing more than a starting point for a change process. It seems so logical, but many people don't look closely at this. I didn't either, and I wasn't aware until I started evaluating my year of change. For me to embrace change, it took me two distinct 'moments of change' to finally start that 'process of change'. The first was on December 08, 2023, when the relationship ended. This was the event-based change that was the start of a new reality. The second one was on December 28, 2023, when I - on a flight back from a business trip to Singapore - decided and promised to myself to change the whole list of things I did not like about myself that I made the weeks before. But apart from a new reality, nothing had changed. I hadn't changed yet. The real hard work still had to start and has been going on since.

Now, a year later, I can say I've changed a lot and made many big changes. Not just my body but also my mind, heart, and soul. Am I done? Oh no, of course not. I changed a lot. Some elements are basically done, others are still in process. This is just the beginning and the first year. Change is a process and a journey. I've adapted to a life of change, making sure I try to get better every single day and I enjoying it when I find out something has changed. Throughout the year, I embraced change as a way of life and in every aspect of my life. I do not just get from point A to point B to ensure I can check off the list I made with all I did not like about myself and say I'm done. No, I keep adding to the list to keep changing and keep that change going. That means a constant look into yourself figuring out what you can do better. Sure, the newly added items to change might not be as hefty as I added to the list in December 2023, and more often than not are changes to improve rather than to fix, but the process is exactly the same. Don't look at this from a negative standpoint that by creating and working on the list of things you need to change is negative approach: once you have that drive of change and truly embed it into your life, it also works positively. Next to fixing the things you find negative about yourself, you also learn to accelerate and go beyond on what you are good at using the same principles and crush your own built limitations. But that is something for another blog post.

My learnings are yours

I want to encourage you. There is a LOT you can change in a year if you want to and are determined to make a change. If you make that decision with 100% of your being. If I can do it, you can do it. I'm not saying it is easy, quick or without effort. Change is hard. In my case, l had to face the consequence of not dealing with myself before I could make the change and it has cost me dearly to get to that moment of change and the process since. But the work of last year was more than worth it. My advice: don't let it come that far that you are forced to change like I did. It does not have to get that far. But where do you start?

• When you know you want to start with change: How do I get to that decision to change, how do I get to that list of things to change? How do I get to know myself?

• When you have already made that decision to change: How do I get going, what should I read about, what should I learn, and what tools should I use to get going with change?

• When you are in the process of change: What if I fail, what if I lose energy or lose my focus or willingness to change, how do I measure success?

I'm sure there are a gazillion number of other questions in your head if you consider changing or adopting a 'change lifestyle'. It is too much in the blog post to tell exactly what I did and how to foster change and answer all those questions, but I will dive deeper into my future blog posts. This is exactly where I want to help.

I've had a crash course into change. I've learned a lot in a very short time-frame as I was super determined to change and changed a lot in a short timeframe. I'm not saying you have to go through change at the pace that I went through my change process. That is different for everybody. The pace of change also depends on the support you can get for instance. I was fortunate to have family and friends around me who could listen to me, give me advice and just be there for me. I was fortunate enough to be able to afford a psychologist, a therapist, and a personal trainer to help me along the way. But not everybody is that fortunate. I'm not a psychologist, I'm not a therapist, and I'm not a personal trainer either, but do have the learnings from it. The changes I've gone through made me realize that many people want change but don't know how or need support along the way. That is why I started 'I Want To Change'. A place for 'change coaching' and the information and tools to help you change. It is the same phrase that I screamed into myself when flying back home from Singapore on December 28, 2023, and was a decision and a promise to myself. With 'I Want To Change' I want to help the ones who want change and/or need support during their journey of change.

If you know you need to change, want to change but don't know how, are in the process of change and need support, or you know someone who does: reach out to me. I want to help as much as I can. I do it for free because I believe everybody should have access to it as much as possible and deserve the ability to change. Also the ones that are not fortunate with family, close friends or don't have the means for professional help. Not to change for themselves alone, but also for everyone around them, too. If you are interested in coaching to get started with change or to have support with your change, make sure you book a free introductory session. If you would like to receive regular new blog posts with topics on personal change and personal growth, related tips & tricks, future features I will launch, and more: then make sure you subscribe to the newsletter. Or just contact me if you have any other questions, and I will make sure I reply.

I hope this first blog post gave you insight into the power of change if you embrace it. It made me a better person for myself and others around me and I hope you can experience it, too. Take care.

Mark